Puzzler Answer, 5/31/97: A Fraud In An Ascot
RAY: Well look -- it's time for the puzzler answer. And I forgot what the puzzler was so you...
TOM: Well just to show that Cath -- I wanted to get Catherine off the hook because everyone has been accusing poor innocent little Catherine...
RAY: Oh, she's hardly innocent.
TOM: Of feeding me the answers and I happen to bump into Catherine and Doug and Ken as we came into the building today. And I said "Guys, just so you know, I haven't had a moment to speak to Catherine and I'm going to tell you already what the puzzler is" and Dougie said "Yeah yeah yeah," and I said "My fair city" and that was it! So it's still a mystery -- its still a mystery -- and now Catherine is off the hook. Karen, on the other hand...
RAY: Ah-hah! Ah-hah! All right. Here it is. I've been asked over the years to explain where the term "our fair city" came from and here's where it came from.
TOM: Yeah.
RAY: A well dressed gentleman enters a bank, approaches the teller and begins to tell his tale of woe.
TOM: This is a great story!
RAY: He says pardon me, madame, I hope you can help me. You see, I'm an English Professor at Northwestern University and I'm a visitor to your fair city and I find myself in need of help. I'm here with my wife and my two daughters and my wife has gone shopping with my oldest daughter and of course taken my wallet which contained my cash and my credit cards and my identification and all that, and I'm alone with my other daughter, who has taken ill in our hotel room. I must buy her some medication immediately but I have no money -- obviously, they've taken my wallet and my credit cards -- but I do have in my jacket pocket, a check. But I, of course, have no identification either, and if you would be kind enough to cash this check for me for 50 dollars, I would be most appreciative. The teller looks him up and down. He's well dressed, distinguished looking, obviously quite articulate, with a hint of a British accent -- that's always good, right?
TOM: Just like my buddy.
RAY: An English professor from Northwestern?
TOM: And. A fraud.
RAY: And a fraud. She says no, I won't be able to help you sir, because you are a fraud and a liar. At which point she calls for security and they throw his butt out in the street.
TOM: Excellent!
RAY: And she was absolutely right.
TOM: Yes she was.
RAY: What gave it away?
TOM: Yeah!
RAY: And as I've always mentioned, all the clues are right here.
TOM: Yeah.
RAY: If you look carefully you will find them and the clue is in the phrase "my wife has gone shopping with my oldest daughter." You see he has only two daughters and an English professor would hardly make the mistake of saying oldest -- you'd have to have three or more.
TOM: Yes.
RAY: Having only two, she would be the older daughter.
TOM: Yes.
RAY: And of course, this teller knew that he could not have been an English professor from Northwestern or from any place...
TOM: So she said, "get the heck out of here!"
RAY: Get out you bum! And our winner this week is...?
TOM: Susan Edwards from Helena, Montana. Montana?
RAY: Yes.
TOM: We picked a winner from Montana?
RAY: No, we didn't. It's random.
TOM: Just to prove that it's random.
RAY: Right.
[ Car Talk Puzzler ]
